Secrets And Past Demons
by Payson Alexxa
Summary: Ziva takes control of her life, after her father abandons her. But there is only one catch - she is only seventeen. So she goes to live with Jenny, to start a new life. Her life, free from her controlling father. But as she settles in, what secrets of hers are exposed? And what do they learn about Director David?
1. Assailent

"Move and I shoot!" I heard from behind me.

My first thought was a robbery but then I realized this house was heavily guarded only an idiot would try and rob it.

So what was it then? An assassination attempt on the director's life?

Processing this all quickly in my head I turned around and kicked the gun from my assailant's hand.

Quickly following it up with a right hand hook to the face.

My eye's straining in the dark I could just make out a hand coming towards me, quickly I deflected it.

That alone surprised me usually after that punch most of my opponents would be hunched over in pain, eyes watering.

* * *

But then again if this was to be an attempt on the director's life it would have to be a professional hit man.

Stepping forward I went for a punch to the stomach at least I hoped it was the stomach.

But to my surprise my opponent pre-empted that strike and grabbed my arm and twisted it, following it up with a knee to the groin and swept my feet out from under me leaving me lying on my back on the floor gasping for breath.

Then I heard them flick the safety off and point the gun at me again.

"Move one inch and I will shoot you," the voice was icy cold and held no mercy and I knew they would have no problem carrying out their threat.

So I lay still on the ground, my head racing trying to figure a way out of this situation or at least a way to warn Jenny.

Then they turned on the lights and for a second I couldn't see, my eyes by now used to the dark, but it did puzzle me as to why they would turn the lights on, if they were trying to avoid detection.

* * *

"Gibbs!" they sounded shocked, but more importantly how did they know my name?

My eyes slowly adjusted to the light enough to see that it was a young girl that had attacked me, she couldn't been older than 25!

How on earth had she beaten me?

I had taken down men twice my size and yet here stood a young girl half my weight who had beaten me!

"What are you doing here?" she sounded suspicious yet her tone suggested she was more relaxed although she was still pointing the gun at my head.

But I couldn't figure out how I know her, I never forget anyone yet I can't for the life of me figure out where I know her from.

"Came to see Jenny."

"She is not here." She replied.

The gun still pointed at me.

"Came to discuss a case." I said nodding towards some case files.

She stared at me for a second, a deep penetrating stare.

* * *

Finally she lowered the gun, and extended a hand to help me up.

She had obviously decided I was telling the truth.

I ignored her hand, pushing myself off up at floor.

"Who are you?" I enquired.

Still suspicious as to what she was doing in jenny's home.

"Ziva," She replied.

She obviously wasn't a talker, I liked that.

"How do you know I jenny," I asked her.

It was obvious she wasn't a guard, yet she was too young to be Jenny's sister and I didn't know if Jenny had any other relatives.

"I am living with Jenny, she adopted me."

I was shocked; I had to work hard not to let my surprise show on my face.

Jenny hadn't mentioned anything about this to me.

But then another thought crossed my mind "How old are you?" I asked her.

"Seventeen," Ziva replied.

This time I was sure my surprise showed on my face, I had been taken down by a seventeen year old!

But she didn't comment on it.

* * *

"Drink?" she asked.

"Depends." I replied, "Bourbon?"

"Yes," Ziva replied.

She had her back to me now pouring my drink.

But when she turned around she was holding two glasses.

Taking a sip from one she offered the other to me.

Taking it I said "Should you be drinking that?"

Ziva face showed only confusion as if it was perfectly normal for a seventeen year old to be drinking alcohol let alone bourbon.

I stared at her "Your underage you know," I said when she still didn't get it.

"Oh, forgot." She said.

* * *

Then she sat down next to me on the couch placing her glass down on the coffee table.

She didn't try to start a conversion with me.

I liked that, usually I would be the last person to break the silence but something about her intrigued me.

"Where are you from?" I asked.

She hesitated a moment before answered, "Israel."

Now I really was curious as to how she knew the director, I don't think Jenny has ever been to Israel before except for one time but that was strictly for a case.

"How do you Jenny," I found myself asking.

"My mother and her were friends." Ziva replied, there was a note of sadness in her voice yet it did not wobble, as I would have expected if her mother had just died.

"How long have you been living with Jenny," I asked.

"About eight months now." Ziva replied.

This had me interested even more; I was even a little hurt.

Why had she lived with jenny so long and I had never met her?

Probably because Jenny had been coming to my house for our talks lately, now I knew why.

Had Jenny been trying to hide Ziva from me and why?

"How come I've never met you before?"

This time she hesitated longer before answering, "I was sick for a while."

My mind raced if she was sick for a while had she had cancer? Or did she just have a bad immune system?

That certainly would explain why Jenny hadn't told me about her.

* * *

But there was one question that still needed to be answered, "How did you know me?" I asked her.

"Jenny, she told me about you, showed me some pictures too." Ziva replied quietly.

I nodded, that explained it.

I then leant back against the sofa.

We once again lapsed into silence.

My questions had been answered, at least for the most part.

I had just one question left, how did she beat me?

And I suspected it wasn't going to be as easily answered as my other questions.


	2. Unanswered Questions

We didn't speak again until Jenny came home.

She looked surprised to find me and Ziva sitting on her couch.

* * *

"Gibbs," she said shocked.

"Ziva," she greeted.

Ziva stood up then, "I am going to bed, goodbye Gibbs, goodnight Jenny."

* * *

Leaving me and Jenny alone.

We stared at each other for a couple of seconds an uncomfortable silence stretching between us.

Until Jenny broke it, "I see you met Ziva," her tone questioning.

"Why, Jen?" I didn't need to finish the question we both knew what I was asking.

Like Ziva, Jenny hesitated a while before answering, "We had a few problems we needed to sort out," she said hesitantly as though afraid of giving to much away.

"Ziva told me about her being sick," I said thinking that was what she was worried about.

But surprise flashed across Jenny's face, which she quickly hid, but not quickly enough.

* * *

Ziva had lied about being sick, but why?


	3. Settling In

I didn't see Ziva again until a couple of weeks later.

But this time at NCIS.

We had just arrived back in the bullpen, we were going to be here all night our killer had just struck again.

I had just gotten back from dropping off the new evidence to Abby.

When the director and Ziva walked past us chatting, and got into the elevator, Jenny being done for the day unlike us.

As I turned to ask my team what they had got, I heard DiNozzo say, "Wow, who was that with the Director, she was HOT!"

And Kate shot back, "Please, she is way too young for you."

Walking up behind DiNozzo I gave him one of my harder head slaps, Ziva had made quite an impression on me.

Though there was still quite a bit I didn't know about her.

"Ouch, Boss what was that for?"

I just answered, "Wouldn't let the Director hear you say that DiNozzo."

"Why Boss?" Tony asked curious.

"She's her daughter. " I replied, repressing the smile that threatened to come as a result of the look of pure shock on DiNozzo's face.

"Adopted." I replied answering the unasked question.

Their question answered, both Kate and McGee turned back to their work.

I knew they were going to enjoy teasing DiNozzo about this for awhile.

"Now, What ya got?" I asked them…

* * *

It wasn't long before Ziva had become a regular face at NCIS.

And would often join McGee and Kate in teasing DiNozzo.

Jenny certainly didn't seem to mind, I often caught her watching them with a smile on her face.

One particular occasion jump to the front of my mind when they had rigged DiNozzo's chair so that it collapsed as soon as he sat down on it and then when he had put his hand on his desk to pull himself up he had found himself the victim of his own supply of superglue which they had earlier spread over his desk, while he was in the head.

As I remember it Ziva was the main orchestrator behind that particular prank.

But today the Bullpen was quiet for once, but I would rather it be its usual circus of pranks and name calling, because the reason for the quiet was we had finally caught the serial killer, but McGee had been the one to shoot him.

But it was his first kill.

He was currently down in the lab with Abby.

She was always the one to go to if you ever needed someone to talk to.

But on this particular occasion I didn't think it would do anything.

Kate and DiNozzo had already tried to cheer him up.

DiNozzo cranking jokes, Kate had tried to convince him that it wasn't his fault.

But he was still depressed.

I think DiNozzo was wondering why I didn't just head slap him and tell him to get over it but I knew this was something he needed to work through on his own.

* * *

- Tony's POV -

I got it, I really did.

I can still remember my first kill.

It was Mark Williams, a drug dealer, not someone I would normally have to deal with in Homicide but he had killed a little girl's father when he had been unable to pay him.

But he had also kidnapped his daughter, to use her for ransom against the mother so he would still get his money.

It had ended up with me having to shoot him, but at least in my case it had been him or the girl which had made my decision a bit easier.

But I was still a little hurt when McGee went down to see Abby.

I had been doing my best to cheer him up, when my usual jokes hadn't worked I had even resorted to calling him Tim, and being all serious and comforting which does not come naturally to me.

But none of it worked.

But then again maybe he just needed to talk to someone who hadn't killed anyone before and see if they thought he had done the right thing.

Or maybe he had just wanted to talk to Abby, I always had suspected there was something more between them than just friends.


	4. Understanding

- McGee's POV -

I came out of Abby's lab and headed for the elevator.

Abby had listened to me unlike Tony and Kate and asked me how I felt but when I told her she just kept saying stuff, like "poor Timmy", and "No, you're not a bad person, you were just doing your job".

I knew she was trying but she just didn't understand, no one did.

I knew I had to fill out the numerous incident reports that came with firing a weapon but right now, I couldn't care less.

So I got into the elevator figuring I would just ask Gibbs for the rest of the day off.

Maybe go back to my apartment drown my sorrows.

Now I understood why Gibbs spent most of his time in his basement with just his boat and bourbon for company.

* * *

Just then the elevator doors opened, it was empty apart from Ziva.

Sighing I stepped in and pressed the button for the bullpen.

I had hoped for a quiet ride up to the bullpen, but not too long after the doors closed Ziva spoke, "They told me what happened. How are you McGee?"

Great, just great.

Why did Tony and Kate have to go and tell Ziva?

This was the last thing I needed, some teenager trying to cheer me up.

Cause even though she may have hung out at NCIS most afternoons.

That's just what she was, a teenager.

She would get it even less than Abby.

She wouldn't even know what it is like to hold a loaded gun, let alone kill someone.

Suddenly I was angry, angry at Ziva.

Angry at Tony and Kate for telling her.

"Fine." I snapped. "Just Fine."

There was a heavy silence after that.

* * *

And just when I was starting to feel guilty for snapping at her like that.

She reached over and hit the emergency stop button.

Taking me by surprise.

"Listen McGee," she said, "You did the right thing today."

And I was angry again, I knew she was only trying to help, but why couldn't people just leave me alone I would ask them for help if I wanted it.

I was sick of people telling me I did the right thing.

I had KILLED someone, taken away the rest of their life.

"You don't have a clue what this feels like Ziva, so stop trying to pretend you do. Just leave me alone." I shouted.

* * *

Feeling drained I sunk down onto the floor leaning against the back wall of the elevator.

I don't know what I expected, maybe I expected her to yell back at me or turn the elevator back on and leave without a word.

But what I didn't expect to hear Ziva almost hyperventilating.

Worried I looked up did she have asthma or something?

But she just looked scared almost, not panicked as though she couldn't breathe.

"You okay Ziva?" My voice squeaked a little, she was really beginning to scare me.

* * *

But she seemed to snap out of it.

Shaking her head a little as if to clear it, she sunk down to the floor beside me.

She sighed, "I know more than you think I do." She said softly.

And I wondered what she meant by that.

She then placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and opened her mouth to say something.

But I beat her to it, "Thanks Ziva, I appreciate what you're trying to do. What everyone's trying to do but I don't want anyone trying to cheer me up. I would just rather be by myself for a while." I said.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I really just needed to be left alone.

There was a pause before Ziva spoke again, "You know I am not trying to cheer you up right?"

Now I was interested in what she had to say.

I know I had practically told her to shut up a moment ago, but now she had my attention.

If she wasn't trying to cheer me up then what was she trying to do?

* * *

"You know I envy you McGee?" Ziva stated.

Shocked, I asked "Why?"

How could she envy me? I had just killed someone, I was no better than the murderers we put away.

"You regret it."

"What's so special about that?" I found myself asking, "Everyone regrets killing someone."

"No," Ziva replied, "Not everyone does, and that McGee is what makes you different to the killers you put away. They do not regret it; they take pleasure from their kills. They plan their kills. You, you are probably now thinking back to it, and going through every single thing you could have done differently so killing them would not be necessary?"

Stunned I can only nod my head yes.

* * *

I had wanted someone all day, who would understand how I feel.

But I thought it would be Kate, or Ducky, not a seventeen year old!

It was almost like she had been in my place, she had known exactly what was going through my head, and turned it around into something good.

"And that McGee is what makes you different from them. Not that you were on the right side or you were trying to protect someone because often enough they are too. But that you regret it, that you are tearing yourself up about it. That McGee is what makes you different from them. And remember when I said I was not trying to cheer you up? That is why. Because as soon as you stop feeling, sure you will not tear yourself up so much next time, it does get easier. But as soon as you stop feeling, you shoot first and ask questions later, or you take an order to kill someone without seeing any evidence to prove them guilty, that McGee is when you are as bad as them. But as long as you feel some measure of regret no matter how small, that is how you know you did the right thing."

It amazed me her level of understanding this situation.

When no one else had.

They had just kept telling me I had done a good thing by stopping a serial killer from killing someone else.

But that didn't make any sense to me when to stop him killing, I had, had to kill him.

But Ziva hadn't seen it like that, and had told me the real thing that separated someone like him from someone like me, our emotions.

And she had helped, I still felt guilty about it, but now I realize that, that is not a bad thing and doesn't make me any less of a capable agent.

Turning to face Ziva, I stood up and held my hand out to her.

She took it, pulling herself up.

* * *

"Thank you." I said trying to put all the sincerity I could behind it.

She had really helped me and I wanted to make sure she knew that I was grateful.

"No problem." She said smiling at me.

And I smiled back.

And once again the elevator fell into silence as Ziva flipped the emergency stop switch again, making it start up again.


	5. Back to Normal

- Kate's POV -

"Guys, Guys, Guys."

An excitable Abby said.

And I looked up, Abby was pacing back and forth in the middle of the bullpen, wringing her hands anxiously.

"What's up Abs?" DiNozzo asked.

* * *

"It's Timmy. He's upset, and I was trying to help, I really was but then he pretty much just stormed out without a word. I don't know what to do. I mean he is never like that. Gibbs yes, Timmy never. And I just don't know what to do. I mean I know you guys already tried but maybe you could talk to him again? I just don't know what to do. And I'm really worried, he's never like this. Did I mention he just left my lab without a word? He's never done that before. And I just don't know what to do." Abby said in such a rush that it was a minute before I understood what she was saying.

I got up and put my hands on her shoulders holding her down because by now she was pretty much jumping on the spot.

"Abby, calm down." I said, "I'll talk to him again."

But honestly I didn't think it would do much good, but if it would calm Abby down I would try.

"Thank you Kate, I knew I could count on you." Abby squealed happily.

And suddenly I found myself engulfed in a typical 'Abby' hug.

Just when I thought I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen Abby let go.

* * *

And turned to go back to her lab when she nearly run into Gibbs who had just come down from the director's office.

"Gibbs!" Abby said shocked, "What are you doing here?"

Me and Tony both looked up at that.

Where else did she think he would be?

But Gibbs just stood there, as Abby hurriedly interrupted, "Never mind, I just thought…." She said trailing off looking puzzled.

"Wait if you were with the director then who's in the elevator?"

This just confused me even more.

Noticing our puzzled expressions Abby explained, "Well it wouldn't go, and I could hear voices, but I just thought it was Gibbs and Timmy.

But you're here Gibbs, so then who's in the elevator?"

Just then the elevator dinged, and Tony and I both looked up our curiosity piped.

* * *

… And McGee and Ziva walked out laughing at something.

* * *

As they came to the bullpen McGee stopped awkwardly but Ziva continued on up to the Director's office.

"Abby," McGee said. "I didn't mean to leave like that before…"

"Don't worry about it Timmy, I'm just glad you're back to normal!" Abby said as she pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.

Soon after that Abby left, satisfied that things were back to normal in her little family.

And McGee got back to work.

Once again ignoring Tony who was chucking paper balls at him. Gibbs had just smiled and left to get another cup of coffee.

Me, I was glad everything was back to normal. But I couldn't help but wonder how Ziva had managed to cheer McGee up when none of us had been able to? Maybe he had just needed to talk to someone outside of NCIS. I don't know. It still puzzles me, but I'm glad things are back to normal.


	6. The letter

A couple of months passed without anything much out of the ordinary happening.

But then they got the Tanner case, and no one on Team Gibbs could have predicted how it turned out, or the implications it would have on one of them, not even Gibbs.

It all started out normally enough.

Gibbs received his usual phone call informing him of the death of a petty officer.

Steve Tanner had been found dead in his house, by his next door neighbor.

His throat was slit and his wrists bound behind him, tying him down to his desk chair.

Team Gibbs quickly processed the scene, Tony taking pictures, McGee interviewing the witnesses, and Kate was in charge of evidence collection.

Arriving back at the base.

Tony took the evidence down to Abby, Tim began background research on Steve Tanner including going through his bank records, while Kate took a letter they had found at the scene down to the translation department.

* * *

Both Tony and McGee were hard at work by the time Kate got back.

"Boss, we have a bit of a set back." Kate said.

"Well," said Gibbs clearly impatient.

"I took the letter down to the translation department but they said it was in Arabic, and the only person who knows Arabic is on holidays until Monday."

"Well, get in touch with him, and tell him to get his ass down here" said Gibbs irritated.

"On it Boss." Kate said hurrying to her desk.

* * *

A couple of hours later they had still not made any progress as Kate had been unable to reach the guy from the translation department, and Steve's records and background checks had revealed nothing suspicious.

The three of them were standing in front of the plasma trying to figure out some new lead to follow while Gibbs sat at his desk sipping his coffee and glaring at his computer which wasn't co-operating with him.

Tony sighed, "it would be a whole lot easier if we knew what the letter was about."

"What letter?" Ziva asked walking into the bullpen, just having gotten out of school.

"Oh, there was this letter at the crime scene but it's in Arabic." McGee explained.

"I could translate it if you would like?" Ziva offered.

We all turned to her hope and surprise in our eyes.

This might just give us the breakthrough we need on this case, but "You speak Arabic?" Tony asked shocked.

"Yes, now do you want me to translate this letter or not?" Ziva asked impatient.

* * *

She was nearly as bad as Gibbs.

"Yeah, hold on I'll just pull it up." McGee said.

"Can you translate it?" Kate asked when Ziva didn't say anything.

"Yeah, but it's in some sort of code, hold on a sec." Ziva replied.

Then all of a sudden Ziva gasped, and started breathing heavily all the while backing away from the monitor.

"You okay, Ziver?" Gibbs asked getting up.

* * *

But just then Ziva collapsed to the floor.

Shocked the team just stared at her for a sec.

Then Gibbs started barking orders, "Tim, call Ducky. Kate go and get Jenny, Tony come and help me. We'll get her onto the couch in Jenny's office."

Hurriedly we rushed off to do what Gibbs had instructed.

A little while later we were all standing around Jenny's couch waiting impatiently for Ducky to finish examining Ziva.

"Well," Ducky said getting up, "There is nothing physically wrong with her I would say she just fainted. From what you described to me Jethro, it sounds like she just got a bit of a shock." Ducky concluded.

"What was she doing before she collapsed," Jenny asked worried.

This time it was Tony who told the story, "We were just saying how much easier it would be if we knew what it said on this letter we found at the crime scene but it was in Arabic and the only person who could speak Arabic was on holiday till Monday and we couldn't reach him. But then Ziva walked by, and asked us what letter we were talking about. So we told her and she said she could speak Arabic and she started to translate it when all of a sudden she started breathing heavily and then she just passed out." Tony recounted.

Just then Ziva began to stir.

Ducky bent back down next to her, "Ziva, can you hear me dear." Ducky asked.

"Yes." Ziva whispered back, "What happened? Why am I here?"

Ducky's brows knitted together "you don't remember what happened?" he asked concerned.

"No," Ziva started to say but then you could see recognition dawn on her.

And she started breathing heavily and trembling. Ducky worried reached out and placed a calming hand on her shoulder but Ziva flinched.

That's when Jenny's facial expression changed, "Ducky, Jethro, Tim, Kate, Tony, could you all please leave?" Jen asked, but they could all tell it was an order.

Gibbs opened his mouth to protest but Jen beat him to it, "Now! Jethro." Jen said but this time it was unmistakably an order.

As soon as everyone had left Jen knelt down next to Ziva but she was careful not to touch her.

"Ziva, it's alright. You're safe. You're in my office in America, remember?" Jenny said softly.

* * *

Ziva's expression cleared but her shaking didn't stop.

"Jen, the letter. It's their code. It's theirs." Ziva said her voice trembling making her sound like a scared little six year old which wasn't too far off at this point.

"Are you sure Ziva?" Jenny asked worried.

"Yes," said Ziva. "Positive."

"It's okay I trust you. Ziva get some rest. You're safe here I promise." Jen said reassuring her.

"Now sleep." Jen said quietly.

* * *

Jenny stayed until Ziva's snores reverberated around the room.

Then she got up, she needed to brief Gibbs and his team.

She knew Ziva wouldn't like it but now they no longer had a choice.

And she wasn't going to have anyone else on this case.

It was too important and required the best.


	7. New Assignment

Team Gibbs were all standing around in the bullpen when Jenny came down the stairs.

"How is she, Jen?" Gibbs asked.

"She is alright now, she's resting but I need to talk to you all, concerning your case. In private I would rather not have the information I'm about to tell you spread all over NCIS." Jenny said looking to each member of the team for agreement.

"We'll talk in the conference room." Jenny said.

Once they were all seated in the conference room.

Gibbs ever the patient one, demanded to know "What was so important?"

Jenny took a deep breath and began.

"I have just received evidence from a reliable source that someone in DC is co-operating with a terrorist cell or at worst we have a section of this terrorist cell forming in DC."

Looks of shock were mirrored around the table, only this morning they had been investigating a normal murder case, and now well who knew what they were dealing with?

"Normally I would have to alert the CIA, but I thought I would hold off until we know exactly what we're dealing with. Because as I said earlier it may only be one person communicating with this terrorist cell." Jenny further explained.

There was a heavy silence around the room as it seemed to sink in exactly what they were dealing with. "How do we know they pose a threat though, Jen?" Gibbs asked.

It was a reasonable question after all there have been several occasions where threats were made, however when investigated turned out to be nothing more than a bunch of idealistic teenagers who think they can change the world, unaware of the actual implications of what they were doing.

"Trust me Jethro, there is nothing harmless about this group. And they will do whatever it takes to get what they want." Jenny said, though her tone reflected anger, and Gibbs wondered why.

Did Jenny have some prior experience with one of this group?

"So as from now I will be taking you off all your other cases, Johnston's team can handle them; this case will be your top priority. I will also be scheduling a conference call with Director David, as Mossad has essential evidence and Intel regarding this terrorist cell." Jenny finished.

"Will Mossad co-operate though, Jen?" Gibbs asked.

But Jenny just replied, "They better."

* * *

That's when Abby interrupted just as Gibbs was about to ask her what she meant by that, "Yes but Director what about Ziva? Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine Abby she just fainted, she's alright now." Jenny said.

"But why did she faint Director?" Abby persisted.

Thinking fast Jenny just replied, "It's private Abby, but I can tell you that this isn't the first time it's happened. And just as Jenny had intended, Abby thoughts went straight to diabetes.

As she had, had an aunt who had had diabetes once.

She used to collapse all the time until they moved her into a nursing home because she also had Alzheimer's and used to forget to eat which would end up in her collapsing because of low blood pressure, and….

"Abby." Gibb's stern voice interrupted.

"Are you coming, this means we've got a whole bunch of new evidence for you to process."

"On it Bossman," Abby replied as she scurried out of the conference room.


End file.
